I haven’t been here in a while, not because I didn’t want to but because I’m not sure what to say. Life has been pretty heavy. Anyone reading this already knows my family has had more than it’s share of hard times but I wonder does it end?

Just found out about 2 months ago that my 12 year old brother has macular degeneration, an eyesight deterioration that is normally found in seniors. What this means is that he is going blind and there is no cure. While I try to sort out in my head what kind of life my baby brother is going to have, I find myself asking God, why? I have always been so convinced that everything happens for a reason but I have to admit that I am starting to waiver. I am starting to wonder if I will ever understand why things happen to my family the way that they do or if I will always be in the dark. And speaking of being in the dark, is there a light at the end of this tunnel?

I am so angry and confused; so bitter and so sad that God allows this to happen to my family who have done nothing but love and serve Him. I pray that the Lord changes my heart because I am not sure how much more of this I can take.